My 4 biggest fears when I moved to Spain (and how I faced them)
I have reflected a lot since moving to Spain about the experience I’ve had, what prompted me to leave in the first place, and what held me back for so long. I came to the conclusion that fear was what paralyzed me and I can imagine it keeps so many other people trapped in their lives. Fear shows up different for each person and ingrains itself in our subconscious, so it’s oftentimes hard to spot. I want to share the fears I faced when moving abroad and how, when I arrived in Spain last year, they dissipated each day. A friend told me to write down all my fears when I got to Spain and then look back after a few months to see if they were still as big and scary as they seemed. Unsurprisingly, now when I look at that list after 7.5 months, none of those fears have the same hold over me that they once had. Just remember, you’re stronger than you think and doing the things that scare you also make you feel more alive than you can imagine.
The 4 things that scared me the most when I moved to Spain:
1. What if I don’t make any friends?
Honestly, now reading this fear I laugh. The world is a lot kinder than we think and people are GOOD. I have met some of the most incredible people on my short and long-term trips. There’s a certain bond that exists between travelers who have all taken that leap to not let fear hold them back any longer. Hostels, walking tours, language exchanges, and oftentimes simply being the first person to say “Hi, how are you?” can invite a whole slew of incredible people into your realm. People want to connect. Humans are social. Being brave and being the person to initiate a connection isn’t as scary as it seems and the more you do it, the easier it gets. Promise!
2. What if I can’t figure out the logistics?
Alright, you capable, brilliant, beautiful human. You are smarter than you think you are, let’s start there. There is so much information on any subject available online, a plethora of traveling digital nomad blogs, and you have natural problem-solving abilities that have taken you this far in life. What makes you think that this next newest, passion-driven challenge won’t work out? Don’t sell yourself short. Paperwork, visas, and bureaucracy can be super overwhelming but break it down into small actionable steps and focus on one piece at a time. Poco a poco, you will get there. Also, reach out for help. I joined a bunch of Facebook groups with travelers going to Spain who were also going through the visa process. That’s where I found the bulk of information and got advice from other people in similar situations to you. It’s also a great forum to ask questions and maybe even connect with people and form friendships prior to arriving to your destination.
3. I’m scared to leave my people behind.
Fair point here. Leaving everyone you know and love to thrust yourself into the unknown is one of the bravest things a person can do. Here’s the thing though, remember your “why”. Why do you feel compelled to make this change in your life? Something isn’t working. Something’s missing. You have this deep sense of longing in your soul that you’re meant for more and that voice in your head just can’t be repressed any longer.
Your people are your people and they will continue to be wherever you are in life. Facetime, text messages, and meme-sharing are love languages that transcend continents and time zones. As I was leaving for Spain, three of my closest friends had their first babies and two others got married. It’s hard to move away from your closest friends as they enter such an exciting new step in their lives. It’s hard to miss milestones and birthdays and the daily little celebrations. That honestly doesn’t get easier but remember you’re doing the same as you enter this chapter in your life and the bond you share with your people won’t be broken so easily. Fill your cup and support them filling theirs. And remember, relationships take effort so schedule some time in your life to prioritize maintaining friendships abroad.
4. What if I regret leaving and I’m making a huge mistake?
Surprisingly, this was a core fear for me. I was so afraid of choosing the “right” path for myself for so long that it put me in a paralysis. And by not choosing to change, I was choosing my current life. I put an insane amount of pressure on myself to always know the exact right choice for myself at any given moment – which is impossible. Hard as we may try (and I TRIED), you cannot predict the future. So, living in fear of making a mistake actually inhibits you from achieving anything and locks you into your comfort zone. Even if that comfortable state is incredibly unfulfilling and leaves you depressed.
The cool thing I realized about making mistakes is that they give you huge learning opportunities (an annoyingly true cliché). What I realized was that the regret of never going would be way worse than realizing I made a mistake by leaving. And worst-case scenario? I could always come back home. Home isn’t going anywhere.